Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
