Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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