"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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