I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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