Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
