Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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