i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
operation harelip BJ is a go
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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