Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
