They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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