So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
