Already got asked if we're dating
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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