Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
