Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
