You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
