Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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