I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
