at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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