Nicole vs. Life
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
