help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
