you have to choose: penises or morals?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
