I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
