Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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