There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
