I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
