The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm like, not good at living.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
