you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
