The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
id be glad to
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
