OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
