Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
