There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
