THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
