no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
