thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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