i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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