Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
