sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
