Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
