When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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