There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
