it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
