that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
