so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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