Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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