who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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