i don't like sucking hair
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
