she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
