Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
