paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
