In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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