the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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