can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
