Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
